But you are not alone. Each year more than 600 babies are admitted into the Special Care Nurseries at The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics. The reasons are varied. Among them are prematurity, respiratory distress, infections, birth defects and other illnesses. The parents of these babies struggled with many of the same emotions that you may be feeling now.

Talking to a parent who has been there can be helpful in coping with this experience. You may find it difficult to discuss your feelings with even close friends and family members. Support from someone who understands can help you to feel more confident and ready to face the "emotional roller coaster ride" of hospital parenting.

We're Here to Help
The Parent Connection is a network of volunteers who have had babies in either the NICU or the Intermediate Care Nursery. These volunteers are trained listeners who will not judge you or make you feel uncomfortable for having fears, frustrations or other feelings. Their job is to help and support you in whatever way they can - even if it means simply giving you a phone number to use if you need someone to talk to.

The Parent Connection has a core group of parent volunteers, as well as staff support persons from nursing, social service and neonatology. Most volunteers live within a short distance of Iowa City. In the future, the group would like to establish satellite volunteers who work with parents in their local communities.

The Parent Connection is recognized as part of the UI Health Care Volunteer Program and is a member of Parent Care, Inc., a national organization dedicated to parents and professionals concerned with infants requiring special care after birth.

One-on-One Support
Many of the volunteers routinely visit the nurseries to get acquainted with new parents. If you feel like talking when a volunteer comes by, he or she will be ready to listen. But volunteers also know there are times when you don't want to talk and that's okay. Special Care Nursery parents can also request to be matched with volunteers to meet one-on-one.

Weekly Support Meetings
An informal support group meeting is held each week for parents and other family members with babies in the nurseries. From time-to-time, The Parent Connection volunteers are called on to lead group discussion or share their stories. Meeting times are posted at the nurseries.

Stress Reducers
Activities are planned to help parents release stress and have a bit of fun. Classes to decorate nursery beds and to design t-shirts for infants have been a big hit. Other activities include Sunday coffee hours, dinners or movies out with volunteers or even an evening in a volunteer's home. Participants report that spending some time away from the nursery is helpful.

What Parents Say About Peer Support:

"My wife lived at the hospital for a few mouths, but I couldn't do that. I had to work. So when I came to visit at the end of the day, it was like walking into a cinema with ten minutes left in the film. I was always trying to catch up. Deb looked to doctors for support; doctors looked to Deb for response. I didn't get much eye contact from either direction. People would ask, 'how's Deb taking all of this?' as though I were a distant observer of the drama. It's tough to be a distant observer of your family. It might have been helpful to know that there were other men in the same boat. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so guilty for needing some comfort."

    — Joe Blair, father of Sam

"During Jonathan's hospitalization, my friends and family tried hard to understand what our family was going through. But they couldn't. I felt no one really understood everything we were dealing with and I felt very alone. Then I met a parent volunteer. Someone who had ridden the emotional roller coaster and had survived. She truly understood. Finally I didn't feel so alone."

    — Holly Gallagher, mother of Jonathan

The Parent Connection is supported by various fund-raising activities, the Children's Miracle Network Telethon and the UI Health Care Volunteer Program. Private donations from individuals and corporations are also appreciated.

Funds are used for coffee hours, social activities, educational materials for parents and volunteers, telephone contact with out-of-town parents and other activities which provide emotional support for parents during their baby's hospitalization.

For More Information
If you are a parent who would like to speak to a volunteer from The Parent Connection, notify a neonatal nurse or the nursery social worker. If you are interested in becoming a volunteer or want more information about the organization, contact:

Division of Neonatology
Department of Pediatrics
The University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics
200 Hawkins Drive
Iowa City, IA 52242
Telephone 319-356-4006