What describes a 'disability' in a child?

A disability in a child really is any condition which limits that child's ability to function in major life activities at an age appropriate level. For example, major life activities are things like communication, walking and moving around, and self-care. Feeding, dressing yourself, bathing yourself, and also other educational abilities like reading, writing, and math.

Do children with disabilities develop at the same rate as their peers?

Many children with disabilities develop at a slower rate from their peers really in all of these life areas. However, it just depends on the child and it depends on the disability. Some may develop at a slower rate in terms of moving around; they may crawl later, they may sit up later, they may walk later. But in terms of other things--talking and interacting and academics--they may develop, really, at an age appropriate level. So it depends on the child and it depends on that child's particular disability.

Why is it important to know what level the child is functioning at before purchasing a gift?

Some children with disabilities develop quite a bit slower than their peers. For example, if you're buying for a six-year-old, you might think--if all you knew was that the child was six years old--you might want to buy that child his or her first bike. A six-year-old with a disability might not have the skills or the balance to navigate bike-riding successfully. Another example is a lot of people like to--you know with all the holiday baking we do--a lot of people like to give food as a gift--Christmas cookies or candy. There are children with disabilities who have problems swallowing solid foods safely, and so that would not be an appropriate gift. So you need to have some knowledge before you buy the right thing.

How should a person looking for a gift determine what might be appropriate for a child with a disability?

It's one of those things where the more you know is helpful--talk to the parents if you're buying for a niece or a nephew or a relative or a friend of the family. Ask them what their child likes to do; what really makes their child happy; if their child could do anything they wanted, how would they spend their time. That's good information. If you're a parent and you're the one that knows the child best and you still don't know, talk to the child's doctor and ask them, given what they know about your child, what would be a good gift or toy or game for this child.

Are there gifts that might be universally safe or appropriate for a disabled child?

The universally safe or appropriate--that's an interesting question. I generally say the ones that would be universal for a child with a disability, the ones that you really are pretty fail-safe with, are gifts that can be enjoyed as a family. Things like DVDs, music CDs. The other thing, and the most important thing, is the gift of your time. Parents of children with disabilities often have a lot on their plates and can use a break. So offer your time, offer to baby-sit, and offer to take care of siblings while the parents take the child with the disability to doctor's appointments. I'd say the gift of time is universally safe, it's always appropriate, and I think it's always appreciated.

Are there certain stores or Web sites that specialize in gifts or educational toys for children with disabilities?

There are. There are a couple of good ones. There's one called lekotek.com that is a great one as far as picking up some information about how to go about getting a toy for a child with a disability. The other thing, it's a great resource for us, is toysrus.com. For the last several years it has had an online toy guide for differently "abled" kids and it's wonderful. It's indexed by age range and it's also indexed by what kind of abilities that toy or game stimulates. For example, sensory abilities, visual abilities, communication or motor abilities. That's the one at toysrus.com and it is really an absolutely great resource for people and it's easy to use.

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Dianne McBrien, MD

University of Iowa Children's Hospital