| Pushing and punching. Spreading rumors and name-calling. Whether it's physical or verbal, bullying has no place at school or in cyberspace.
Parents can help children not be bullied or be bulliers, but first it is important to understand why bullying occurs, says Tammy Wilgenbusch, PhD, a clinical psychologist with University of Iowa Children's Hospital.
"Bullying can start at any age but it increases and then peaks in early adolescence, between sixth and ninth grades," Wilgenbusch says. "At that time, children are developing their personalities and independence so they may be more likely to take their insecurities out on or try to wield power over others."
Children who are bullied are at higher risk of mental health problems, particularly depression and anxiety. Some studies show that children who display more anger are more likely to bully because they do not have proper anger-management skills, Wilgenbusch explains.
"Some children can cope effectively with bullying, but if it interferes with daily living then it's a good idea to provide strategies for dealing with the bullying and building self-esteem. You can get a referral for counseling from a school counselor or psychologist or primary care physician," Wilgenbusch says.
Research shows that children rate teasing as the most common form of bullying they encounter.
"Encourage your child to ignore the teasing or come back with a quick-witted, non-threatening response," Wilgenbusch says. "'Agreeing' with the bullier's comment and making a joke can take the power out of the comment."
When it comes to physical bullying, however, it is best to report attacks so the bullier faces consequences.
Wilgenbusch and colleagues recommend limiting computer access in bedrooms or isolated areas. Having a computer in the open allows more interaction and opportunities for parents to monitor behavior.
To learn more, visit stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov or www.safeyouth.org.
--Becky Soglin
"You can't just tell them to stop. You need to really talk with them to help them learn to empathize with the other person and to think about why they're bullying and what they are getting out of it."
--Tammy Wilgenbusch, PHD |
