Being a parent is stressful enough when kids are well. But even more upsetting are times when your child is in pain and you feel unable to help. Pain is your body’s way of warning you that something may be wrong—physically or emotionally. Children may have a hard time describing where they hurt and what it feels like, making it difficult to know how to help them.

“Because parents know their children best, they play an important role in relieving pain,” says Gwen Senio, Child Life Specialist at University of Iowa Children’s Hospital. “Parents are alert to changes in their children’s behaviors that may indicate pain is present. Familiar comfort from a familiar caregiver is important in lessening pain.”

To assess your child’s pain level, ask him or her to rate the pain on a scale from zero to 10 (10 being the worst pain). With very young children, ask them to choose a face, from a smiley face to a crying face, from the Wong- Baker FACES Pain Rating Scale.

Illness or hospital stays are tough for any child because they interfere with normal childhood experiences and the need for play. UI Child Life Specialists recommend arts, crafts, and music projects, as well as playground and playroom activities for any hospitalized child well enough to participate. At a patient’s bedside, developmentally appropriate playthings can nurture a child’s spirit, providing peace-of-mind and promoting healing.

Learning and practicing exercises such as deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or meditation when your child is healthy can then be used to help when he is anxious or in pain from medical treatments, Senio says. With infants, comfort techniques can include singing, humming, playing soothing music, or nature sounds. Physical contact such as cuddling, rocking, or massage are also beneficial. For children, as well as teens, it can be helpful to provide distractions like sensory toys, interactive books and playthings, video games, or movies.

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To help you determine the level of your child’s pain, point to each face using the words to describe the pain intensity.

• Face 0 is very happy because he doesn’t hurt at all.
• Face 1hurts just a little bit.
• Face 2hurts a little more.
• Face 3 hurts even more.
• Face 4 hurts a whole lot.
• Face 5 hurts as much as you can imagine, although you don’t have to be crying to feel this bad.

Ask your child to choose the face that best describes how he is feeling.

No nos

Children can sense their parents’ tension so it is essential to stay positive and calm. Avoid these common mistakes:

• Reinforcing negativity by cringing, flinching,or gasping
• Saying “this won’t hurt” before shots, IVs, or other procedures

Pain symptoms 

Recognize your child’s pain symptoms that need attention. Consult a UI Family Care physician if your child:

• Has severe or excessive pain lasting more than two days
• Cries, moans, or guards the area of discomfort
• Is restless or does not want to move at all
• Sleeps too much to avoid the pain or too little because of it
• Does not eat or drink as much as usual