Health Topics for Aging

Nursing Homes/Care Centers

Geriatric Assessment Clinic

Sex in the later years

Sexual activity is likely to change over time for older adults. This does not mean that sex at age 78 is not as good as it was at age 18. But it is different. There are positive and negative changes.

Many people are greatly relieved to be having sex at an age when they no longer have to worry about pregnancy. Also, older adults already know what brings them pleasure sexually. And they may be more willing to let a partner know about their desires.

Older men may need direct stimulation of the penis to get an erection. Once aroused, the penis may not be as firm or as large as it used to be. On the positive side, premature ejaculation is almost never a problem in older men. They may even take longer to reach orgasm. Often a female partner welcomes this. The longer period allows her more time to reach orgasm as well.

Women tend to reach a sexual peak at a much later age than men do. This means, for example, a 50-year-old woman may have a stronger sex drive than when she was younger. Older women may have tenderness or bleeding during sex due to the thinning of the membranes in the vagina.

Medications, alcohol, and chronic illnesses, such as heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, chronic pain, stroke, and incontinence, also can affect your sex life. But they should not stop you from enjoying sex. Remember too, that sex does not always have to include intercourse. Just spending close intimate time together snuggling, kissing, or giving each other a massage can be very satisfying.

Also remember that aging does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Almost anyone who is sexually active is at risk. In fact, the number of people over age 50 who are diagnosed with HIV/AIDS is growing. If you are having unprotected sex, have recently been divorced or widowed, or have more than one sex partner, you are at risk. Make sure you are using a latex condom and learn about safe sex.

There is a lot you can do to continue an active sex life. Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise regularly, eat good food, drink plenty of fluids, and avoid smoking and alcohol. Try to keep a positive outlook and reduce stress in your life.

If you do have a problem that affects your sex life, be sure to discuss it with your healthcare provider. There are treatments that can help. For example, if a woman has pain during intercourse, it is usually caused by vaginal dryness. This can easily be treated by using a lubricant, available in drugstores and grocery stores. If pain or bleeding persists, even with the use of a lubricant, consult your provider. If impotence is the problem, there are several simple things that your provider may be able to help with, such as stopping smoking or drug abuse, reducing stress, changing your medications, or prescribing testosterone. Vacuum erection devices, surgical procedures, and penile implants are also options.

Books and videos are available to help older adults become more comfortable with their sexuality.

Last Reviewed 2005

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

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