Health Topics for Child Health and Development

UI Children's Hospital

UI Family Care Centers

Divisions Within the Department of Pediatrics

Iowa Registry for Congenital and Inherited Disorders

New baby creates jealousy

Jealousy is a common reaction in siblings when a new baby is brought into the home. A toddler may misbehave or begin acting younger in response to the stress and change. Punishing the child or insisting that the child share your love for the new baby does not work. Simply give the toddler extra love and reassurance. The child's attachment to his new baby brother or sister will grow naturally and slowly over time.

There are a number of things that you can do to prepare children for a new baby's arrival to the family. Preschoolers are better able to understand what is happening. Parents can prepare them during the pregnancy for the arrival of a new baby.

Preschoolers may miss their parents' attention and sometimes become resentful of the new baby and angry because they are no longer the focus of attention. They need to be told often that they are loved and that there is enough room in your heart for both children. Allow them some time to be the "important one" and "the baby" when it is needed. They need praise and comforting, too.

School-aged children are usually proud and protective of a new baby. Set some time to be alone with them each day and let them help take care of the new baby. It takes time for your firstborn and your newborn to become friends. Here are some tips to reduce jealousy, decrease insecure feelings, and open an older sibling's heart to accepting the new baby to the family:

• talk with them about their feelings
• explain that it is okay to feel jealous and angry toward the baby, but not okay to hurt the baby in any way
• give them extra hugs and kisses
• give them special duties so they will feel important and included when you are busy with the baby
• set aside time to read a few extra books at bedtime with them
• arrange a day trip, or overnight trip alone with them
• arrange playtime with another child of the same age who also has a new baby at home
• treat them to a special Daddy or Mommy breakfast or lunch and
• prove every day that you love them just as much as you did before the baby came home

Last Reviewed 2005

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

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