It's only natural for young children to become upset and cry when separated from their parents. While this can be frustrating for parents who must leave their children in day care, parents may be relieved to learn that separation anxiety is time limited.

"Separation anxiety usually occurs in children from seven months to three years of age. Young children are simply unable to understand that their parents will return," says Dr. Martha Craft-Rosenberg, associate professor in the University of Iowa College of Nursing. "The most common example of separation anxiety occurs when children are left at day care."

Children who are very attached usually have more difficulty separating, Craft says. The more experience the child has with separation, the easier it is for them to adjust.

Most parents have dealt with a clinging and crying child as they try to leave the day care center. Some have faced a frustrated child who cries or screams when the parent returns, or a child who won't acknowledge the parent's return. This is a child's way of "paying back" the perceived injustice of being left earlier in the day, says Craft-Rosenberg.

"Most children suffer from separation anxiety at some point in their lives," Craft-Rosenberg says. "Turn separation into a learning experience. If we prepare our children, listen to them, and give them some choices, the problem can be minimized."

Craft-Rosenberg suggests taking the child to the day care center for a visit before the first time you must leave the child for the day. Other ideas that may work:

• Send a family photo with the child. When the child feels lonely, he or she can look at the photo and feel like Mom and Dad are watching over him or her.
• Before you leave, kiss the child's palm and close the fingers gently to "keep the kiss in." Explain to your child that when he or she feels the need for a kiss from Mom or Dad, he or she will have one in her hand.
• Get your child interested in an activity before you leave, so he or she will be occupied when you depart. But DO NOT sneak out.
• "The child needs to feel he or she has control over the situation. Allow the child to tell you good-bye, rather than you saying good-bye first."

"Taking preventive steps early will make the separation easier on parent and child," Craft-Rosenberg says. "We all have to learn to live with separation anxiety, whether as a three-year-old going to day care, or as a 30-year-old separated from a loved one. It's always difficult," Craft-Rosenberg says.