Health Topics for Mental and Emotional Health

Department of Psychiatry

Disappointment

There is a scene in a comedy movie where a man opens a safe, expecting to find millions of dollars worth of diamonds. Yet, he finds only an empty safe. He fires several bullets from his gun and yells, "Disappointed!"

Sometimes we all want to yell, "Disappointed!" We are told, "Don't get your hopes up." However, we all get our hopes up. We all expect things that just do not turn out the way we expect.

Often our expectations are not realistic. We know not to expect that a blind date will look like a favorite movie star. But we hope, anyway. Children get disappointed more often because their expectations are often unrealistic. Mom may say that there is very little money for Christmas, but the child may still expect that special toy. On Christmas morning, Mom has to deal with a disappointed child in tears.

Disappointments are a part of life and a part of growing up. Take these steps to minimize disappointments:

• be honest
• avoid breaking promises
• if you have to break a promise, explain the reasons why
• let others know what you expect of them
• let others know what they can expect from you
• do not say "maybe" when you know you mean "no"

If a person has too many disappointments, he or she may not develop trust in others. Those who have had too many disappointments in one area may stop being open to further hurt, such as when poor students drop out of school, or the heartbroken stop dating.

If you feel like too many disappointments have affected your ability to trust, you may benefit from counseling.

Last Reviewed 2005

Disclaimer: This content is reviewed periodically and is subject to change as new health information becomes available. The information provided is intended to be informative and educational and is not a replacement for professional medical evaluation, advice, diagnosis or treatment by a healthcare professional.

HIL File MENT4784.rf2 VRS# 6718 Data Version 7.0 Copyright 1999 McKesson Health Solutions LLC. All rights reserved.